Paganless Pagan Pride Days

I don't do public pagan events very often.  I haven't found one yet that was worth my time.  Case in point: the Milwaukee Pagan Pride Day.  I attended a few years ago, and it was mostly a vendor room...and much of what was being sold was fashion, not religious, (Celtic patterned bags and dresses, for example) and pretty much all of it I could get at any half-decent New Age store.

Got invited to the event again, and just for shits and giggles, I decided to check the schedule as posted on Facebook:

12noon Lady Valley Opening Ritual - Rev. Tyson

(The vagueness suggests this will attempt to address all forms of pagans present, which invariably results it in not addressing any...at which point, why do we need a "ritual"?)

1-1:50p Dr. Paul McDowell Tactics & Secrets for Increasing Your Personal Power

(A quick Goggle search tells me this person has written a book called Dark Lords - The Power Within, which is a "controversial journey that sheds light on the world of dark mind magic and secret alchemy used by the world's top businesses and wealthiest families.  Nothing is held back as a "Master Dark Lord" is your guide through this world of advanced business strategy, covert processes and unpalallelled [sic] entrepreneurial power. Learn how to apply these amazing tools in your business."  Sounds totally legit, right?)

2-2:50p Corin White - How to Avoid Getting a Flesh Eating Curse.

(I'm sorry...WTF? A PDF document from the event gives a different title: Graveyard Magic...which at least is a more useful title...but seriously?  Are you catering to the uber-goths?  Because last time I was there, the atmosphere turned decided chilly when three goth teens entered.  No one there wanted them.  It was tangible and ugly, and the teens weren't doing anything negative at all.  They were just checking the place out.

2-3:50p Karen Pauli - Animal Rescue-Adopt a Pedigree!
 
(Ok, puppies are cute, but this has what to do with paganism?)
 
3-3:50p Jeanie Dean Egyptian Culture & Myths
 
(Wow, an actual legit pagan topic. Ms. Dean.  Ironically, this event doesn't show up on the PDF advertisement at all.)

4-4:50p Barbara Kruck Animal Communication through Your Totems< (Uh...right. Ok.) 4-5:50p Dr. Joanne Flanagan - Power of the Equilibrex Pendant (If this sounds suspiciously like an infomercial, it's because it IS.  The Equilibrex Pendant " is a Bio-energy enhancer designed to strengthen your resistance to the effects of both stress and electromagnetic fields (EMF),increase your energy level, and improve your mental performance."  Normally $179.95, you can buy yours right now for $89 here. (oh, please visit, just to see how hokey this item looks))

5-5:50 Lisa Howe Underground Allies: Connecting to Marcus Maichle Earth Spirits & Earth Stewardship thru WormFarm (composting)

(In the PDF, it had a more useful title: "Our Underground Allies: Basics of Vermiculture (Worm Composting)".  Not religious in the least, but at least the title tells you something.  Now we're talking about "WormFarm" (which sounds like a brand name) and we've decided to sound more New Agey by adding a discussion on Earth Spirits.  Seriously, understanding Earth Spirits and learning to compost in the same panel?

A quick Googling tells me that Marcus Maichle gives presentations on elemental spirits.  Is Marcus actually going to be there, or is Lisa just borrowing his stuff?)

6:00pm Lady Valley Closing Ritual - Rev. Tyson  (I'm not sure I trust anyone who claims to be a Reverend but doesn't state what he or she is a Reverend OF.  I can technically call myself one, because I'm ordained online through the ULC, but I DON'T, because it doesn't actually confer any meaning (other than I can legally perform weddings in Wisconsin))

There's practically nothing (once again) at this Pagan Pride Day that's actually pagan.  Sure, some pagans are interested in composting, but plenty of non-pagans are too.  It's not pagan.  And there are time and places for these things, but why at a Pagan Pride Day?  Is this the best the pagan community can offer?  Then I don't have a lot of pride in it.  This is more like Eclectic New Age Day.  Pagan does not equal New Ager!