Religious Interpretation of Biology

I returned home to Detroit this week to visit friends and family. Among old acquaintances I caught up with was a friend who spoke at some length about the agonizing choice he made a few years ago to give a son up for adoption.

The process included choosing the adoptive parents from a list of candidates hoping to adopt.Some of the choices were easy for him. As an example: he immediately weeded out anyone who said God had made them barren specifically in order for them to adopt his baby. He didn't want his child being raised in that sort of atmosphere.

I have to agree. Besides just finding it creepy, I find it arrogant and self-absorbed. The gods do not micromanage my life. They are concerned with the machinations of an entire universe, and sometimes those machinations lead to biological issues. I myself have been trying to get pregnant for two years, but it's never even occurred to me to think a divine being was stealing my eggs or whatever is specifically going on that's keeping me from getting pregnant.

I suppose I should consider "Shit happens" to be one of my personal religious tenets. We don't always get what we want. That's not divine providence: that's life. We work with what we have. If you can't get pregnant and choose to adopt, that's great and I wish you and the child the best of luck, but don't fool yourself into thinking its part of some grand plan designed specifically for you. The person who most shapes my life is me. The gods are certainly with me, but if things are going to happen in my life, I need to take the initiative on them.

And if I do end up with a child, either biologically or through adoption, it will be because of decisions I've made, not because of some divine mandate. While I may have a child, I am not destined to have it, as the example woman seems to think she is.