I visited the doctor's office yesterday to address some medical questions. In the course of our discussion, the nurse practitioner asked me if there was anything in my life making me anxious or depressed. I answered no.
But then I started thinking about it, and realized that while there truly isn't anything in my life which should depress me, I am indeed depressed. I'm finding it hard to motivate myself to do things I want to get done, things I even generally enjoy doing. My memory has gone to hell, which I've been writing off to "fibro fog." I cry at times when I can even recognize there's no reason to cry. I even blogged the other day about how I couldn't find anything positive to write about. I've just been sort of writing everything off, sort of an "eh, that's just how things are."
That's depression. It's been about ten years, but I have been down this road before. now that the idea has finally sunk in, I'm recognizing all sorts of mannerisms that further suggest it. And no, I don't think it's power of suggestion. When it comes to my health, I'm pretty good at staying objective. I find of have to with the fibromyalgia, since there's no test or machine that can externally measure symptoms. I've tried puzzling out what has been going on with me, and none of the suspicions have fit.
This fits. This is depression...or perhaps whatever has caused depression in the past, if there's something more complex coming on. And that makes me paradoxically happy. Depression can be fixed. Like I said, I've done this before, and just knowing why my body is doing something it's not supposed to is a victory I don't get nearly often enough.
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I have a RSS feed from your blog. I love reading it. I Have just gotten back to my computer after a few days break and have read a few of your posts.
I also have Fibromyalgia. I went for a long time without knowing why I was hurting, and was tired and depressed. Like you, finally understanding why I was feeling those things went a long way in helping my outlook on things. I also found that working outside the home (as I was a stay at home mother until circumstances changed the roles in our household) has significantly alleviated my depression.
I found your site by chance after a friend felt comfortable enough to tell me she was Wiccan. I decided to try to find some information and I found you. While I am not Wiccan, and I am not sure I can really call myself a Christian anymore (my belief system has changed significantly over the years) I have come to find your blog sometimes uplifting and sometimes happily thought provoking.
Anyway, no matter what you post it is food for thought and for me always informational.
Thanks.
Wow, that was an awesome comment. Thank you very much. I kind of needed it.